A Secret So Horrible It.........
by Serenthia
Summary: Harry and Snape find out they are father and son. But Harry isn't the son and Snape isn't the father. A case against the use of Time-Turners by senile old men.


Disclaimer: Well, what does one say? I should claim that I don't own anything and I don't but the fact is these characters don't belong to Rowlings either. You see, little green men told her about them while she slept, so they belong to the little green men. And those little green men are my children and underage so everything that belongs to them, I own. Therefore I own the characters. But I will allow everyone to play with my little toys. Except for Severus. He's mine! 

_Author's Note: this does not fit in with my other stories. A Stand-Alone piece_. 

A Secret So Horrible It Can't Be Told But If I Wasn't There Wouldn't Be A Fic So The Secret Was Told 

by: Serenthia 

Harry, shook his head, unwilling, and unable, to believe what Headmaster Dumbledore was telling him. 

"That's impossible!" he screamed, digging his fingers into the chair's armrests. 

A hand, Sirius's, was firmly gripping his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, Harry," Dumbledore said. "But you can't time-travel without consequences." 

Harry gulped. "But I didn't time travel." 

"You will," Dumbledore sighed. "When your an old senile man, half off his rocker." 

Harry whimpered. "Surely, there's a mistake." 

"I'm afraid not," Dumbledore said. "It will happen again when you get old and become senile again." 

"Not if I can help it," Harry growled. 

"Harry, you must. Severus is the only reason why your parents lived as long as they did," Dumbledore blinked. "Wait a minute. Something would have had to happen that very first time to prevent them from dying. Oh no! We're caught in a time loop! You dunderhead!" he shouted at Harry. "You messed up the course of history! Have you no shame?" 

Harry felt his cheeks blushed and then got angry. "You're blaming me for something I didn't even do!" 

"Not yet," Dumbledore growled, "but you will." 

"Snape doesn't know about this, does he?" Harry asked, hoping. 

Tears filled Dumbledore's eyes. "No," he breathed. "I thought it would be best for you to tell him. It would do him good." 

Harry sunk in his seat, his heart racing. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be! 

"How do I tell him this?" Harry wondered. 

"Beats me," Sirius said, unhelpful. "It's rather disgusting, I have to add. Eww! It's extremely disgusting the more I think about it. How could you? That's just nasty." 

Indignant, Harry jerked his shoulder away from Sirius. "Thanks!"' 

"You better call the greasy git in here," Sirius said. 

Harry narrowed his eyes as he looked at Sirius. "Talk to Snape with more respect." 

Sirius stuck his tongue out. "Sorry, Harry. But right now my disgust over what you did is overriding my godfatherly instincts." 

Dumbledore clucked his tongue and went to get Snape. Harry stewed in silence until they arrived. 

Snape glared at Harry and Harry stood up, straightening his robe. "Hello Snap... Severus." 

Severus sneered at him. "Ten points from Gryffindor for addressing me like that." 

Dumbledore coughed and Sirius moved to stand by a bookcase, well away from Severus. 

Harry gathered his courage and his wits. "I can call you whatever I want. I'm your father." 

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for a stupid joke," Severus hissed. 

"He's not joking," Dumbledore said. "I read your mother's diary, found evidence, and have been trying to find out who your father was for the past twenty years. It's Harry." 

"Impossible," Severus choked out. 

"As an old senile man, Harry travels back in time, meets your mother and has a fling. He goes back to the future and dies, I think. Anyway, there you have it. Harry is your father. Harry is willing to take full responsibility for his actions," Harry nodded, "and pay child support," Dumbledore said, though they hadn't discussed that part! 

Harry smiled, extending his hand to Severus, his son. 

Severus took a step forward and then fell backwards, unconscious. 

"He took that quite well," Sirius remarked. "My head would have blown off my body if it had been me. Imagine having a fifteen year old as your father when your already thirty-six. That has to unnatural." 

"I'll be a good father," Harry said, annoyed. "You just watch and see! Come here, by ickle son!" 

Harry gathered him up and rocked him and not even Hermione and Ron could drag him away from his son's side while they took Severus to the hospital wing. 

"I don't like the name Severus. I'm changing his name," Harry decided while he stroked Severus's head. "What are some good names?" Harry asked his friends. 

Ron, Hermione, Remus, and Sirius all sat on the hospital bed next to Severus's, their eyes wide. 

"I think finding out Snape was his son was too much for Harry," Ron said sadly. 

Harry rolled his eyes. "No, it wasn't. But if Severus is my son then I had better take responsibility for it. I'm old enough to pay the consequences of my actions," Harry said, shrugging. "Plus," he said, glancing down at the unconscious man. "If I'm his father, I can tell Severus what to do! No more homework! And he'll have to give us all good grades." 

Ron and Hermione looked at each other, then at Severus. 

"Right!" Ron said excitedly. "We control Snape! We control Snape!" And Ron got off the bed and did a jig. 

"Exactly," Harry said and then fell back as hands encircled his throat. 

"You idiot!" Severus shouted, sitting up and shakily getting of the bed. "How dare you be my father!" 

Remus and Sirius dove over the bed and dragged Severus off Harry's throat. Once he was off, Harry rubbed his tender skin. 

"You're grounded, young man," Harry said, not caring that Severus's eyes were popping and his temple vein throbbing. "You'll treat me, your father, with respect." 

"You're not my father," Severus spat. "That's impossible." 

"No, it's not," Hermione said. "That is why time travel is so dangerou..." 

"SHUT UP YOU IDIOT GIRL!" Severus shrieked. 

"You will not talk to your father's friends in that way," Harry said, angry. "Show them, and me, some respect!" 

Severus shook his head from side to side. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening." 

"Since I'm Harry's godfather does that make me Snape's godfather too?" Sirius wondered. 

"Hey, Severus," Remus laughed. "You went to school with your own grandfather! Isn't that funny!" 

Severus's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted, again. 

"My head hurts from trying to figure this out," Hermione complained. "Time travel can get so confusing. Harry, why did you do it?"  
"I didn't!" Harry shrieked. "I mean, not yet." 

"This version of history is an altered version because in the real version, the first version," Hermione went on to explain, ignoring everyone's glassy eyes, "Severus Snape would not have been created yet. He only gets created when Harry travels back in time as an old man with one thing on his mind," Hermione clucked in disgust, "and then the next history, the second version, would have Severus in it." 

Harry wasn't sure he followed but he didn't care. "I have a son and son's have to obey their fathers," Harry said. "Severus will also give points to Gryffindor from now one." 

When Severus woke it was decided that, for Harry's health, he would go back to Gryffindor Tower and wait until Severus calmed down. 

"It must be bizarre having a teenager as your father," Ron winced with sympathy. "Especially one who is still growing, still getting pimples, and is your student." 

Harry shrugged. "He'll have to get used to it." 

The news had leaked out and Harry found people staring at him with their mouths opened so flies could nest. 

"Snape is your father?!" some boy asked as the trio sat in the library. 

Harry shook his head. "I'm Severus's father." 

The boy scratched his head. "How did that happen." 

"Misuse of a Time-Turner," Hermione said, glaring at Harry like this was all his fault. 

It technically was but... "I didn't do it yet!" Harry yelled, his standard yell lately. 

The boy left, mumbling about biological urges and the need to control them. 

Severus came striding up to their table later. 

"Hi son!" Harry greeted him. 

Severus spat, literally, on their table. Hermione shuddered and Ron wiped his hands off on his robe. 

"You owe me, Potter!" Severus hissed. 

Harry smiled and shrugged. "Anything, son." 

"Quite calling me that!" Severus shrieked. "I'm not your son! This is some horrible error!" 

"Nope," Harry said, shaking his head. "Dumbledore even took our blood to a Muggle doctor and did some sort of test called a DNA test. You are my son." 

Severus collapsed into a chair, holding his head, and shaking it. Though Harry had always found Severus to be ugly, he now realized he not only had to grow to like that face but defend his son if anyone ever insulted his looks, even if Severus was not present. That was what father's did, after all. 

"I have a book here," Harry said, holding up the book Sirius gave him. "_How To Be A Teenage Father_. It doesn't mention anything about having a child that is older than you, though. Weird, eh?" 

"This can't be happening to me," Severus sobbed, burying his face in his hands. "I'd rather have a Muggle for a father than you." 

Insulted, Harry sniffed. "Hey! I don't have to go to the Dursley's this summer!" Harry suddenly realized. "I can live with you, my son! It's going to wonderful and Ron and Hermione can stay with us later in the summer! No more Dursleys! Since we are related Dumbledore will agree!" 

Severus fell over in a dead faint. 

Over the next few weeks, Harry found that he quite enjoyed being a father. He reminded Severus to brush his teeth, comb his hair, and doted on him. Except for the occasional fainting spell Severus was doing quite well. 

"Severus seems to have gotten over the trauma of having a teenager for a father," Remus remarked to Sirius while they watched Harry teach Severus how to catch fish the Muggle way. 

"I guess I have to like Severus now that he's my best friend's son's son," Sirius sighed. 

"Time-turners," Ron growled. "They should be banned." 

"I think its cute," Hermione said. "Harry has a family now. A father in Sirius and a son in Severus. That is so cute!" 

Remus and the rest went back to watching the scene. Severus's hair was no longer greasy, Harry made him wash it with a special shampoo Harry was buying (it was fairly expensive), and Severus had gained some weight (Harry kept sending him cakes and pastries). Severus looked fairly good, actually. 

"You're shorter than me," Severus snapped. 

Severus still hadn't gotten over Harry's age though Severus did seem to like having a father. 

"It'll be all right," Harry consoled him, patting him on the back. 

"Why me?" Severus wondered softly. "Well, it is better than finding out that I'm Black's son." 

Sirius blew him a kiss. 

The scene closed with Harry and Severus, standing side by side as father and son, fishing. 

The End. Unless I have an urge to write another chapter. 


End file.
